Brittany

So Friday... Roof party. I want to get as many people as possible to come play Edward 40 Hands. Because I haven't played it since high school and I think it'd be funny as hell on the roof.

Come. Call me.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.







Fuck.

So I'm walking home for lunch today, and there's a chicken outside my building. My super's wife is standing down the block a bit, washing off the sidewalk, but by no means near the chicken. I start taking pictures of it with my phone, and the super starts calling it. Apparently it's name is Camilla. So I go up to the super and say, "oh, is it a pet?" She doesn't speak much English, and replies, "No, it's a chicken." Took all my strength to make it into the building before I started cracking up. I find out from my neighbor that apparently the super has a chicken coop in the basement with 6 or 7 chickens. More and more chickens keep showing up at our building. They think someone in Harlem nearby has a coop on the roof or something and they escape and somehow end up outside our building. So the super takes them in because he doesn't know what else to do with them.

And here she is... Camilla. Not a pet. No, it's a chicken.

I find it terribly amusing that the only person who has ever made me feel like I could love them more than Stewart is the very same person whose presence in my life has precipitated two out of three of the manic episodes I've had in the past year.

Oh the irony. Good thing for my sake, then, that it'll never actually work out with her.

Oh, annnnd..... Housewarming party this Friday at 8. Let me know if you think you can go and I'll send you the info.

There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

In my life I love you more

------------------------------------

The more I date, the more I just miss her. I don't think that's ever going to change. It's just something I'm learning to live with. I don't want her back, I just don't want anything other than what was, what we had. I'm still in love, if only nostalgically. Sucks too, because I've been seeing some really amazing people these past 6 months, and it's all just kind of been empty and meaningless. Guess I'm still chasing a shadow of the past. And I really don't think that'll ever change.

I'm still internet-less at the apartment, so just a quick note from work...

A big thank you to everyone that helped with the move. And a huge, massive, infinitely large thank you to Mr. Ron Maxwell, who saved my ass and probably broke his back in the process.

All my stuff is out, with only minor confrontation. I'm safe, and the situation is all behind me. Thank you to everyone who helped and supported me through this.

I'm glad it's all behind me now.

I'm exhausted and drained and stressed, but coping.

I had to get out of the apartment last night. Monday night was a nightmare. You wouldn't believe the verbal abuse, threats, childish behavior, that I had to put up with from him. He started screaming at me the moment I walked in the door, wouldn't leave me alone, wouldn't let me watch TV, turned the internet off, threatened to change the locks so I couldn't move my stuff out. I feel like I'm trying to escape from an abusive relationship, but it's the opposite of that...I turned him down romantically, and that's what sparked this whole ordeal. So now I'm trying to escape a verbally abusive and threatening relationship that was never even a relationship to begin with.

Needless to say, it wasn't safe for me to stay there alone last night. I didn't sleep at all Monday night. Laid in bed all night with a knife under my pillow, fucking terrified because he keeps a gun in the house. So yesterday after work I grabbed two friends to come with me to the apartment, grabbed two bags of clothes, some blankets, toiletries, and the cat and went to the new apartment last night. It just wasn't safe for me to stay there another night.

I have to go back Thursday for the rest of my stuff. I rented a cargo van and I have two friends helping me so far, but I know he is going to make this utter hell on me. So please, please, please, if anyone is free on Thursday during the day, please help. I have to get out that day, I can't leave my stuff any longer. If anyone is able to help, I'm in a really, really bad situation and I need help getting out. I'll buy lunch for anyone that helps.

I just want out of this mess. I've already contacted a lawyer about getting a restraining order if he tries to contact me after Thursday. Now I just need help actually getting out. The more people I have, the faster it will go and the less likely he will be to try anything, so if you're free, if your friends are free, anyone... Please.

Thank you, infinite amounts, to everyone who helped and supported me through this ordeal. I'm almost through the woods.

This seriously made me laugh...

I'm looking for a March 1968 Playboy for my friend's birthday (it's the issue with the women of Barbarella). Came across this one on eBay. Read the description...

http://cgi.ebay.com/PLAYBOY-MAGAZINE-VINTAGE-MARCH-1968_W0QQitemZ180217413319QQihZ008QQcategoryZ280QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

I'm just picturing this guy having his 4 year old daughter pack up his Playboys. Now that is quality daddy-daughter time. I wish my dad had let me help him sell his porn collection when I was a kid.

I started packing. I cannot possibly tell you how good that feels.

I want to do the move on Saturday the 28th, but the building I'm in right now won't let you move on Saturdays. So I'm going to try to sweet talk the super. If not, would anyone be able to help me move on Friday, the 27th?

I don't know how the hell they expect people to move out on weekdays before 5PM. I really can't/don't want to take off work for this. But I guess if I have to... Sucks. Oh well. At least I'm getting the fuck out of here.

Tyler in 2 days....

LA/Alexa <3 in 4 days...

Disney in 5 days...

Universal in 7 days...

Moving on the 28th...

Eddie Izzard with Amanda on the 29th...

The next two weeks will be the best ever. I love June.

And hopefully by July Malena will be well enough to come home. <3 Now that would make this the best summer ever. <3 <3 <3

Tonight is Gay Prom at Snapshot. I do wish Malena was here to go with me. It just wouldn't be fun without her. Hmm...kinda wish I had planned ahead to go though, maybe with Glenn or Sarah. Oh well. Next year.

And did I mention I love Twin Peaks? Best show ever. Seriously. Ever. Ever.

I should not be allowed around straight women.

Just sayin'.

I have a strange effect on them.

For their own good, I should be kept at a distance at all times.

We found an apartment! It's gorgeous. 94th and 1st. Rent is cheaper than I expected, and the room is bigger than I expected. Huge living room. Enough room for a dinning table in the kitchen. Annnnd....roof access looking out over the east river. Which means we will be having a party sometime in July once we're settled in. I'm so happy. I finally get to get out of here. For my volunteer movers...I think it'll end up being the July 4th weekend, if anyone is around. Either that Saturday or Sunday, the 5th or the 6th. I'm going to try to move in all the little stuff myself the week before, so it'll just be furniture I need help with that weekend. I'm so excited! This place is just so pretty. I love it.

23 is starting out to be an amazing year.

Birthday dinner at Heidelberg at 8 if anyone is in the area. 86th and 2nd.

I am a horrible mother. I got a little brush happy with Gavers and took a little too much off the top. Now his shoulders are a little bare. I feel so bad. He is not happy with me. Seriously though, I brushed Donald Trump's toupee off that cat. I've never seen so much hair. Poor baby. He doesn't seem to be in pain, and I checked the area out to make sure he wasn't losing hair or anything (no more ringworm, pleeeeease). He's just a little thinner now. =( I'm a bad mom.

Eviction notice number 3.

I'm gonna start a scrapbook.

So that crane that collapsed at 91st and 1st this morning.... Yeah, I work at 92nd and 1st. It's a damn zoo out there between the firefighters, cops, media and construction workers. There's even helicopters. That thing took a chuuuuunk out of that building it hit. Not pretty. Getting to work this morning was rather annoying, seemed like every street I tried was blocked off. But of course, they couldn't just send us home, nope.

It's a bad technology day. My phone is shit tonight. My external harddrive decided to die half way through my data migration from my laptop to my Mac, so I tried to transfer over the remaining 14G or so, all music, on two little thumb drives, which seem to be exhausted now and no longer working. Only about 6G left to go, then my laptop can officially be put to rest. Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow. Damn technology and my dependence on it.

So Azureus is now Vuze? Why does Vuze suck so much? Grrr.... I will NOT go back to LimeWire. Any suggestions? uTorrent doesn't run on Mac OSX yet.

I want to go dancing. Last night was so amazing. I haven't danced salsa in so long. Martin is awesome. Totally gotta hang out with him again soon. Haha, he can teach me to dance then give me a massage.

I'm listening to "Let's Get Loud." It makes me happy.

I'm just happy in general lately.

This semester has been an amazing time of bringing great people back into my life and removing the ones that had far out stayed their welcome. I'm making better choices about my life and the people I let in it. That's a good feeling.

Last night was just so awesome. Best birthday graduation ever.

And I have to say that the news that Malena's health is improving made my weekend. God, I love that girl.

This weekend could not have been any better.

Jager..... It takealikealicorice.